Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact
Created time
Sep 16, 2022 12:22 AM
Author
Phil M Jones
URL
Status
Genre
Book Name
Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact
Modified
Last updated December 26, 2023
Summary
• Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact is a book by Phil M Jones that offers essential advice on how to communicate effectively with others, regardless of your professional field.
• It provides tactical advice and guidelines on the best ways to use language to get to the desired outcome when having conversations with clients, colleagues, and other stakeholders.
• As a UX designer, this book can help you to expand your ability to communicate confidently, demonstrating your worth to clients.
• With its step-by-step approach, you can learn to craft messages that simultaneously engage and inform, ensuring that all parties remain on the same page.
• In addition to Exactly What to Say, you may also find useful books such as Selling UX: User Experience Strategies for Growing Your Business, Don’t Make Me Think: A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability, and Make it Worth Their While: Connecting Content and Users for Digital Success.
🎀 Highlights
Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain. The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to
Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain. The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to make decisions without overanalyzing them.
looking for examples of where your subconscious has served you, here are some simple ones: Controlling your breathing while you sleep. Assisting your routine on a familiar journey. Allowing your attention to be immediately drawn to anything that resembles your name.
I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But           One of the most common reasons I hear from people as to why they fail to introduce their idea, product or service to others is the fact that they are fearful of the rejection they might receive.
reasons I hear from people as to why they fail to introduce their idea, product or service to others is the fact that they are fearful
I hear from people as to why they fail to introduce their idea, product or service to others is the fact that they are fearful of the rejection they might receive.
“I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...”
figured the best place to start is with a set of Magic Words you can use to introduce something to just about anybody, at just about any point in time, that is completely rejection-free. The words in question are, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...”
The real magic, though, is delivered through the final three-letter word of this sequence, a word that typically should be avoided in all conversations: the word “but.”
The word “but” negates everything that was said prior, so when you say to somebody, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...,” what the little voice inside your listener’s head hears is, “You might want to look at this.”
When you say to somebody, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but.. .,” the little voice inside your listener’s head hears, “You might want to look at this.”
EXAMPLES Here are a few examples to help you in your daily routine: I’m not sure if it’s for you, but would you happen to know someone who is interested in (insert the results of your product or service)? I’m not sure if it’s for you, but we have plans on Saturday, and you’re welcome to join us. I’m not sure if it’s for you, but this option is available for this month only, and I would hate for you to miss out.
Knowing that people like to see themselves as open-minded, you can easily give yourself a fair advantage within your conversations. When introducing a brand-new idea to a stranger, friend, prospect or team member, using the words, “How open-minded are you?” and following up that sentence with a scenario you want them to opt into allows you to naturally attract people toward the very thing that you are looking for their support with.
Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance? How open-minded are you about increasing your monthly income? Would you be open-minded about seeing if we could work together?
How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative? Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?
When introducing a new idea, start with, “How open-minded are you?”
What Do You Know?           How
What Do You Know?           How often do you find yourself in a conversation that quickly becomes a debate because you are speaking with someone who thinks they know best
The best way to overcome the “I know best” mentality of many people is to question the knowledge on which the other person’s opinion was founded.
The goal is to turn the situation into one in which the other person admits that their opinion was based on insufficient evidence, while retaining the ability for them to save face in the conversation. It is the power in the preface, “What do you know about...?” that softly threatens their knowledge base and forces them to share the reference on which their argument is based.
What do you know about everything that has changed since (insert event)?
they are going to do something or move. This means that a very simple definition of motivation is “a reason to move”
“motiv-” part, is derived from the Latin word “motivus,” the modern-day translation of which is “motive.” Another word for motive is “reason.” The “-ation” part of the word derives from “action,”
a very simple definition of motivation is “a reason to move” or “a reason to
a very simple definition of motivation is “a reason to move” or “a reason to do.”
People make decisions based on what feels right first. If you can make it feel right, the rest is easy.
The real world tells us that people will work far harder to avoid a potential loss than they will to achieve a potential gain.
By introducing a future scenario with the words, “How would you feel if...?” you allow the other person to time travel to that moment and imagine the emotions that would be triggered at that point.
Did you know that every decision any human makes is made at least twice? The decision is first made in your mind hypothetically before it is ever made in reality.
for a decision to come true, you must have first at least imagined yourself doing it.
When you hear the words, “Just imagine,” the subconscious brain kicks a switch and opens up the image viewer, and it cannot help but picture the very scenario you are creating.
By using the preface, “When would be a good time to...?” you prompt the other person to subconsciously assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option.
When would be a good time for you to take a proper look at this?
turning an open question into a closed one, results in you receiving a guaranteed outcome or answer.
“Do you have any questions?” Asking this creates the subconscious suggestion that the other person should have questions, and if they don’t, it makes them feel peculiar and perhaps even a little stupid. This encourages them to leave the decision-making conversation and go away to think about it. A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?”
A mistake many people make is asking, “Can I have your phone number?” When you ask somebody, “Can I have your...?” it creates a permission-based resistance in the other person, which makes it harder to get what you hoped for, since a “yes” or “no” response is required. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. Instead, asking the alternative question, “What’s the best number to contact you at?”
Changing a couple of words can make all the difference in the results you get from your conversations.
There are two types of people in this world: those who leave their personal financial success in the hands of their employers and those who take full responsibility and build their own futures.
There are two types of people in this world: those who judge something before they have even tried it and those who are prepared to try something and base their opinion on their own experience.
There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia and those who move with the times and create a better future.
Something for you to think about as a reader is that there are two types of people in this world: those who read books like this and do nothing and those who put what they read into practice and enjoy immediate results.
Prefacing a statement with the Magic Words, “I bet you’re a bit like me,” quite often results in the other person comfortably agreeing with what you are saying, providing that you are reasonable.
Most People           These two words, which contain just ten letters, are possibly responsible for more of my negotiating success than any other single strategy I have employed in my businesses.
Indecision is the biggest thing that stands in the way of progress, and these words can help jump people out of procrastination in a flash.
On vacation, you see a group of children on top of a rock face looking to jump into the water below, but nobody wants to go first. However, as soon as one person is brave enough to go first and jumps into the water, lands with a splash and doesn’t suffer any injury but instead breaks the surface with a great big smile on their face, now everybody seems to think it is a good idea. Human beings, people, you and I—we all like to follow others and trust that there is safety in numbers.
If somebody is questioning their ability to do something, then you can respond with, “Look, the good news is that we have dozens of people who were in exactly the same situation when they first started, and they have gone on to be successful and are here to support you, too.”
By prefacing things with, “The good news is...,” you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.
When somebody says, “I couldn’t do it because of this,” say, “That’s great, you’ve just found out another way that doesn’t work,” and watch how they look at you differently.
It is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close.
By treating every objection you face as nothing more than a question, you can quickly regain control of the conversation by asking a question in return.
Moving somebody from a “no” to a “yes” is nearly impossible. Before you can move some-one to full agreement, your first action is to move them to a position of “maybe.”
Instead of a detailed analysis of the benefits of three bottles over two, you can easily simplify the decision with the direct question, “Would three bottles be enough for you?”
In sales training programs, it is typical to talk about the importance of an “upsell”: inviting your consumer to purchase more at the point of transaction.
“Could you do me a small favor?” I am pretty sure that in that split-second moment, you thought that you may be reasonably open to helping me out. This is a simple and powerful set of Magic Words that you can use to get somebody to agree to do just about anything before they even know what the thing is.
almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, “Depends what it is.”
“You couldn’t do me a small favor, could you?” This simple question gains an almost certain agreeable response and gives you instant permission to continue with the rest of your request. You can then go on to say, “You wouldn’t happen to know...”
People say thank you when they feel they owe you something. This is the best time to ask for someone’s help.
“What is it that you want to think about?” I knew that if they could open up their thoughts to me, then I could probably help. The trouble was, I knew I couldn’t really ask that because it would seem rude or obnoxious. So instead, I hear people in my situation say things like, “It’s okay, no pressure; we are ready when you are ready,” and walk away from the opportunity hoping that time will fix it.
What I discovered was that if I preface one of these direct questions with a certain set of Magic Words, then I could change rude and obnoxious into soft and fluffy.
“Just out of curiosity,” and they can be used as the perfect preface to many a direct question. EXAMPLES Examples include... Just out of curiosity, what is it specifically you need some time to think about? Just out of curiosity, what needs to happen for you to make a decision about this? Just out of curiosity, what is it that’s stopping you from moving forward with this right now?
Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain. The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to
Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain. The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to make decisions without overanalyzing them.
looking for examples of where your subconscious has served you, here are some simple ones: Controlling your breathing while you sleep. Assisting your routine on a familiar journey. Allowing your attention to be immediately drawn to anything that resembles your name.
I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But           One of the most common reasons I hear from people as to why they fail to introduce their idea, product or service to others is the fact that they are fearful of the rejection they might receive.
reasons I hear from people as to why they fail to introduce their idea, product or service to others is the fact that they are fearful
I hear from people as to why they fail to introduce their idea, product or service to others is the fact that they are fearful of the rejection they might receive.
“I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...”
figured the best place to start is with a set of Magic Words you can use to introduce something to just about anybody, at just about any point in time, that is completely rejection-free. The words in question are, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...”
The real magic, though, is delivered through the final three-letter word of this sequence, a word that typically should be avoided in all conversations: the word “but.”
The word “but” negates everything that was said prior, so when you say to somebody, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...,” what the little voice inside your listener’s head hears is, “You might want to look at this.”
When you say to somebody, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but.. .,” the little voice inside your listener’s head hears, “You might want to look at this.”
EXAMPLES Here are a few examples to help you in your daily routine: I’m not sure if it’s for you, but would you happen to know someone who is interested in (insert the results of your product or service)? I’m not sure if it’s for you, but we have plans on Saturday, and you’re welcome to join us. I’m not sure if it’s for you, but this option is available for this month only, and I would hate for you to miss out.
Knowing that people like to see themselves as open-minded, you can easily give yourself a fair advantage within your conversations. When introducing a brand-new idea to a stranger, friend, prospect or team member, using the words, “How open-minded are you?” and following up that sentence with a scenario you want them to opt into allows you to naturally attract people toward the very thing that you are looking for their support with.
Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance? How open-minded are you about increasing your monthly income? Would you be open-minded about seeing if we could work together?
How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative? Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?
When introducing a new idea, start with, “How open-minded are you?”
What Do You Know?           How
What Do You Know?           How often do you find yourself in a conversation that quickly becomes a debate because you are speaking with someone who thinks they know best
The best way to overcome the “I know best” mentality of many people is to question the knowledge on which the other person’s opinion was founded.
The goal is to turn the situation into one in which the other person admits that their opinion was based on insufficient evidence, while retaining the ability for them to save face in the conversation. It is the power in the preface, “What do you know about...?” that softly threatens their knowledge base and forces them to share the reference on which their argument is based.
What do you know about everything that has changed since (insert event)?
they are going to do something or move. This means that a very simple definition of motivation is “a reason to move”
“motiv-” part, is derived from the Latin word “motivus,” the modern-day translation of which is “motive.” Another word for motive is “reason.” The “-ation” part of the word derives from “action,”
a very simple definition of motivation is “a reason to move” or “a reason to
a very simple definition of motivation is “a reason to move” or “a reason to do.”
People make decisions based on what feels right first. If you can make it feel right, the rest is easy.
The real world tells us that people will work far harder to avoid a potential loss than they will to achieve a potential gain.
By introducing a future scenario with the words, “How would you feel if...?” you allow the other person to time travel to that moment and imagine the emotions that would be triggered at that point.
Did you know that every decision any human makes is made at least twice? The decision is first made in your mind hypothetically before it is ever made in reality.
for a decision to come true, you must have first at least imagined yourself doing it.
When you hear the words, “Just imagine,” the subconscious brain kicks a switch and opens up the image viewer, and it cannot help but picture the very scenario you are creating.
By using the preface, “When would be a good time to...?” you prompt the other person to subconsciously assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option.
When would be a good time for you to take a proper look at this?
turning an open question into a closed one, results in you receiving a guaranteed outcome or answer.
“Do you have any questions?” Asking this creates the subconscious suggestion that the other person should have questions, and if they don’t, it makes them feel peculiar and perhaps even a little stupid. This encourages them to leave the decision-making conversation and go away to think about it. A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?”
A mistake many people make is asking, “Can I have your phone number?” When you ask somebody, “Can I have your...?” it creates a permission-based resistance in the other person, which makes it harder to get what you hoped for, since a “yes” or “no” response is required. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. Instead, asking the alternative question, “What’s the best number to contact you at?”
Changing a couple of words can make all the difference in the results you get from your conversations.
There are two types of people in this world: those who leave their personal financial success in the hands of their employers and those who take full responsibility and build their own futures.
There are two types of people in this world: those who judge something before they have even tried it and those who are prepared to try something and base their opinion on their own experience.
There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia and those who move with the times and create a better future.
Something for you to think about as a reader is that there are two types of people in this world: those who read books like this and do nothing and those who put what they read into practice and enjoy immediate results.
Prefacing a statement with the Magic Words, “I bet you’re a bit like me,” quite often results in the other person comfortably agreeing with what you are saying, providing that you are reasonable.
Most People           These two words, which contain just ten letters, are possibly responsible for more of my negotiating success than any other single strategy I have employed in my businesses.
Indecision is the biggest thing that stands in the way of progress, and these words can help jump people out of procrastination in a flash.
On vacation, you see a group of children on top of a rock face looking to jump into the water below, but nobody wants to go first. However, as soon as one person is brave enough to go first and jumps into the water, lands with a splash and doesn’t suffer any injury but instead breaks the surface with a great big smile on their face, now everybody seems to think it is a good idea. Human beings, people, you and I—we all like to follow others and trust that there is safety in numbers.
If somebody is questioning their ability to do something, then you can respond with, “Look, the good news is that we have dozens of people who were in exactly the same situation when they first started, and they have gone on to be successful and are here to support you, too.”
By prefacing things with, “The good news is...,” you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.
When somebody says, “I couldn’t do it because of this,” say, “That’s great, you’ve just found out another way that doesn’t work,” and watch how they look at you differently.
It is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close.
By treating every objection you face as nothing more than a question, you can quickly regain control of the conversation by asking a question in return.
Moving somebody from a “no” to a “yes” is nearly impossible. Before you can move some-one to full agreement, your first action is to move them to a position of “maybe.”
Instead of a detailed analysis of the benefits of three bottles over two, you can easily simplify the decision with the direct question, “Would three bottles be enough for you?”
In sales training programs, it is typical to talk about the importance of an “upsell”: inviting your consumer to purchase more at the point of transaction.
“Could you do me a small favor?” I am pretty sure that in that split-second moment, you thought that you may be reasonably open to helping me out. This is a simple and powerful set of Magic Words that you can use to get somebody to agree to do just about anything before they even know what the thing is.
almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, “Depends what it is.”
“You couldn’t do me a small favor, could you?” This simple question gains an almost certain agreeable response and gives you instant permission to continue with the rest of your request. You can then go on to say, “You wouldn’t happen to know...”
People say thank you when they feel they owe you something. This is the best time to ask for someone’s help.
“What is it that you want to think about?” I knew that if they could open up their thoughts to me, then I could probably help. The trouble was, I knew I couldn’t really ask that because it would seem rude or obnoxious. So instead, I hear people in my situation say things like, “It’s okay, no pressure; we are ready when you are ready,” and walk away from the opportunity hoping that time will fix it.
What I discovered was that if I preface one of these direct questions with a certain set of Magic Words, then I could change rude and obnoxious into soft and fluffy.
“Just out of curiosity,” and they can be used as the perfect preface to many a direct question. EXAMPLES Examples include... Just out of curiosity, what is it specifically you need some time to think about? Just out of curiosity, what needs to happen for you to make a decision about this? Just out of curiosity, what is it that’s stopping you from moving forward with this right now?
