I’d have been sad to think I’d never have children. But did I want them now? No.
If I had kids, I’d become a parent, and parents, as I’d known since I was a kid, were uncool.
When people had babies, I congratulated them enthusiastically, because that seemed to be what one did. But I didn’t feel it at all. “Better you than me,” I was thinking.
Now when people have babies I congratulate them enthusiastically
What changed, of course, is that I had kids. Something I dreaded turned out to be wonderful.
Partly, and I won’t deny it, this is because of serious chemical changes that happened
One doesn’t tend to associate kids with peace, but that’s what you feel. You don’t need to look any further than where you are right now.
small children are disastrously fond of repetition (anything worth doing once is worth doing fifty times) it’s often genuinely fun to play with them. That surprised me too. Playing with a 2 year old was fun when I was 2 and definitely not fun when I was 6. Why would it become fun again later? But it does. There are of course times that are pure
Some of my worries about having kids were right, though. They definitely make you less productive. I know having kids makes some people get their act together, but if your act was already together, you’re going to have less time to do it in.
Kids have schedules. I’m not sure if it’s because that’s how kids are, or because it’s the only way to integrate their lives with adults’, but once you have kids, you tend to have to work on their schedule.
being ambitious has always been a part of my identity, but having kids may make one less ambitious.
once you have kids, you’re probably going to care more about them than you do about yourself.
I told my kids that once I finished it I’d take them to Africa. When you say that sort of thing to a little kid, they treat it as a promise. Which meant I had to finish or I’d be taking away their trip to Africa. Maybe if I’m really lucky such tricks could put me net ahead. But the wind is there, no question.
The fact is, most of the freedom I had before kids, I never used. I paid for it in loneliness, but I never used it.
But if I count up happy moments, not just potential happiness but actual happy moments, there are more after kids than before. Now I practically have it on tap, almost any bedtime.
I had plenty of happy times before I had kids. But if I count up happy moments, not just potential happiness but actual happy moments, there are more after kids than before. Now I practically have it on tap, almost any bedtime.
I think the worries I had before having kids must be pretty common, and judging by other parents’ faces when they see their kids, so must the happiness that kids bring.
I’d have been sad to think I’d never have children. But did I want them now?
I’d have been sad to think I’d never have children.
I’d have been sad to think I’d never have children. But did I want them now? No.
If I had kids, I’d become a parent, and parents, as I’d known since I was a kid, were uncool.
When people had babies, I congratulated them enthusiastically, because that seemed to be what one did. But I didn’t feel it at all. “Better you than me,” I was thinking.
Now when people have babies I congratulate them enthusiastically
What changed, of course, is that I had kids. Something I dreaded turned out to be wonderful.
Partly, and I won’t deny it, this is because of serious chemical changes that happened
One doesn’t tend to associate kids with peace, but that’s what you feel. You don’t need to look any further than where you are right now.
small children are disastrously fond of repetition (anything worth doing once is worth doing fifty times) it’s often genuinely fun to play with them. That surprised me too. Playing with a 2 year old was fun when I was 2 and definitely not fun when I was 6. Why would it become fun again later? But it does. There are of course times that are pure
Some of my worries about having kids were right, though. They definitely make you less productive. I know having kids makes some people get their act together, but if your act was already together, you’re going to have less time to do it in.
Kids have schedules. I’m not sure if it’s because that’s how kids are, or because it’s the only way to integrate their lives with adults’, but once you have kids, you tend to have to work on their schedule.
being ambitious has always been a part of my identity, but having kids may make one less ambitious.
once you have kids, you’re probably going to care more about them than you do about yourself.
I told my kids that once I finished it I’d take them to Africa. When you say that sort of thing to a little kid, they treat it as a promise. Which meant I had to finish or I’d be taking away their trip to Africa. Maybe if I’m really lucky such tricks could put me net ahead. But the wind is there, no question.
The fact is, most of the freedom I had before kids, I never used. I paid for it in loneliness, but I never used it.
But if I count up happy moments, not just potential happiness but actual happy moments, there are more after kids than before. Now I practically have it on tap, almost any bedtime.
I had plenty of happy times before I had kids. But if I count up happy moments, not just potential happiness but actual happy moments, there are more after kids than before. Now I practically have it on tap, almost any bedtime.
I think the worries I had before having kids must be pretty common, and judging by other parents’ faces when they see their kids, so must the happiness that kids bring.
