art of asking the right questions to forge meaningful connections with new acquaintances.
The author, Noor Siddiqui, presents a list of thought-provoking questions aimed at making conversations more enriching.
creating better connections is a great way to "design for" the people you meet.
Letâs be real; weâre all just one âfavorite childhood snackâ answer away from a true bonding moment... or at least a good laugh!
Who knew asking "What do you think is more important, written or unwritten rules?" could unleash a philosophical debate about cake recipes and birthday parties? đ
that get your (future) friend to:
Iâve found that good conversations start from questions that get your (future) friend to: recall an emotionally charged memory (positive or negative) recall a rarely accessed memory (nostalgia) generate a novel response (think about something they hadnât thought about before). Bad conversations
Iâve found that good conversations start from questions that get your (future) friend to: recall an emotionally charged memory (positive or negative) recall a rarely accessed memory (nostalgia) generate a novel response (think about something they hadnât thought about before).
Bad conversations occur when the person youâre talking to is: providing canned responses to questions, having a conversation with you that they have had with someone else a moment ago not learning anything about themselves not feeling understood by you
How did your parents meet? I generally start with this one because you never really know a person unless you know their pre-history.
Whatâs a decision youâre trying to make right now? Do you want to walk me through your thinking? Switches the conversation in a direction where you can be helpful to them.
What thing did you buy for under $50 that brought you the most joy/convenience/utility? Helps you learn what the best customer experience is, and what kind of solution this person in particular values (something that saves them time (random developer tool), something that saves them in a pinch (portable battery charger), something that helped them get excited about a new hobby (new running shoes)âŚetc.
What do you believe most strongly that you canât prove? Very variable responses, generally gets them to distill their emotional state into a heuristic/philosophy they use in life, âpeople generally do the right thingâ, âpeople are generally selfishâ, âiâm meant to do great thingsâ, etc.
you when they first meet you? What do your
What do people misunderstand about you when they first meet you? What do your best friends know about you that your acquaintances donât? Gives them a chance to share who they really are with you vs. how they may come across at first meeting.
What is the best gift youâve ever given someone else? One of the ways to think about what kind of company to start or what kind of work to do is to think about what the best gift you could give to someone (or to the world). This is a proxy for how aligned their life is in terms of what they think is most valuable to give to others and what they actually spend their time giving to others.
What misconception is most common among your friends/coworkers/family? Gives you a sense for if they think independently (do they see anything differently than the people they spend the most time with)?
